Honey, I Broke the House
by BeautifulHannah2004
Summary: Based on the Full House episode where Stephanie drove Joey’s car into the house.


One fine day in the Loud House, Lynn and Lincoln were doing homework. Then Lola came in and said, "Great news, people! In case any of you wants to play with me, I still have 20 minutes until dance class."

"Can't you see I'm doing our homework?" Lincoln asked.

"You know," Lynn said, "there's a country where where they use little annoying kids as lunch meat."

"Then you better not go there," Lola said, "because you're full of bologna."

"Lola," Lincoln said, "why don't you go to the living room and run around the couch about 50 times."

"I'm getting the feeling I'm not wanted here," Lola said.

"Make that 2000 times," Lynn said.

"Now I'm sure of it," Lola said, walking away.

Then Lana walked in with a toy stethoscope and said, "Listen to this." Then Lynn listened to Lana's instructions, leading to Lana screaming, "YEAH YEAH!" It startled Lynn.

In the living room, Lori and Leni were talking, until Lola came in and said, "Great news, people! I have 18 minutes until dance class. Who wants to play?"

"We'd love to, Lola," Lori said, "but Leni and I are working on an assignment for Spanish class, and it's due tomorrow."

"You can talk about my day in Spanish!" Lola smiles. "So far, it's been fascinating! It all started when I heard the alarm clock and woke up. You might wanna take notes. And then I opened my eyes, and right in the corner were those little eye crispies."

"Lola," Lori said. "Lola, just hold on for a second. I know you tell great stories, and I love how you put in every little detail, like the shoes the people are wearing, or the color of the paint on the wall, but what happens is every simple story goes on and on and on. I wonder where you get it from."

Then Luna walked in and Lola said, "Hey Luna, wait till you hear about my day!"

"I know," Luna said, "you told me. Eye crispies, gross."

"I haven't told Luan yet," Lola said.

"Perfect," Luna said. "Luan loves a good eye crispy story." Lola then walked away and Luna said to Leni, "So are you ready for our double date tonight?"

"Yeah," Leni said, "about that, I'm not going with Becky. I'm going with Chaz."

"Why?" Luna asked, enraged.

"Because I'm not gay like you are!" Leni protested. "Other than Lori, he's my Spanish partner during 6th period!"

"Then forget about the double date, dude!" Luna yelled.

"Now we can finally focus on our Spanish homework," Leni said to Lori.

"And I'm watching you two!" Luna claimed.

"You're just jealous because you're the only one in this house that's gay," Leni claimed."

"I am not!" Luna yelled.

In the backyard, Lola was talking to Luan. "And I'm sitting in class," Lola said, "and the teacher says, 'today's lunch is macaroni surprise', so I raise my hand and say: 'Excuse me, but when you say it's macaroni, you ruin the surprise'."

"Lola," Luan said, "I love hearing your stories, but you haven't said a word about my new used car."

Lola looked at it and said, "Nice. Now back to my day"—

"Hold it!" Luan barked. "Lola, this is a 1992 Rambler. It's a classic. It's in primo condition. You know, people say it's wrong to love a car, but I don't care what people say. I love you, Rosie!" Then she looked at the car and said, "Oh no."

"What's wrong, Luan?" Lola asked.

"Nick," Luan said.

"Okay," Lola said. "What's wrong, Nick?"

"No," Luan said, "there's a nick in the paint, Lola. Look, I'm gonna go to Flip's and get a little bottle of touch up paint." Then she called out, "Charles, do you wanna go for a walk?" Charles then ran up to Luan. Luan said, "I'll take that as a yes, huh?"

"I'll watch Rosie for you," Lola said.

"Thanks, Lola," Luan said. Then she said to Charles, "Alright, Charles, let's not say hello to every tree in in the neighborhood."

"Bye Luan!" Lola called. She then looked at Luan's car and said, "Hi Rosie." Then she walked into the driver's seat and said, "Better buckle up," before putting on her seatbelt. Then she said, "I need some driving music." She tried to turn on the radio, but it didn't work! She then, by accident, started the car and said, "Stay! Stay! Good car. Good car." Then she looked around and said, "P, R, N, D... R! Must mean radio." Then she pulled the lever to R, and the car started rolling backwards! "Whoa, Rosie!" Lola yelled. "Whoa! AAH!" Then the car was in the kitchen. Lola looked around and said, "I'm in the house, and I'm still in the car." Lola got out of the house to see the mess she made. "Oh my," she said. "Oh no! Oh no! Oh my! What did I do?" She then prayed, "Please be a dream. Please be a dream." She then opened her eyes and said, "It's a nightmare." She suddenly looked on the bright side and said, "Maybe no one will notice." With that, Lana walked in and her jaw dropped by what she saw. "Hello, Lana," Lincoln smiles.

"There's a car in the kitchen!" Lana exclaimed.

"There is?" Lola giggles. She then looked behind her and said, "Oh! There is! Did you see how it got here?"

"No," Lana said.

"Good," Lola said to herself. "I'm in the clear. Until Luan gets home and tells Lori how she left me alone with her car, I'm in dead meat."

"Got it, dude," Lana said. In Lincoln's room, he and Lynn were still doing homework. Lana walked in and said, "Hey!" Then she unplugged their headphones and said, "I said hey!"

"What do you want, sport?" Lynn asked.

"Don't call me sport!" Lana barked.

"May we help you, madam?" Lincoln asked.

"There's a car in the kitchen!" Lana exclaimed.

"Yeah," Lincoln said, "and there's a bus in the bathroom."

"Good one, Lincoln!" Lola laughed.

"Lola," Lincoln said, "why are you packing a bag?"

"Well," Lola said, "we're having a dress rehearsal at dance class, and I need something to rehearse dressing in." Then they heard a car horn and Lola said, "Gotta go. That's my ride." Then she walked up to Lincoln and said, "Bye Lincoln. I'll always remember you." She then kissed her big brother and walked to Lana. "Goodbye Lana," she said. "Best of luck in everything you do." Before Lola walked out the door, Lynn looked at her, and Lola said, "See ya, Lynn."

Later in the kitchen, Lynn and Lincoln walked in and yelled, "Whoa baby!"

"There's a car in the kitchen!" Lincoln yelled.

"I told you so," Lana said.

"Lana," Lincoln said, "do you know how Luan's car got in here?"

"Yes I do," Lana said.

"How?"

"Through the window."

"I'm home!" Luna called. She then walked in and said, "Listen, I"— She looked at the car and yelled, "Have mercy! There's a... There's..."

"There's a car in the kitchen," Lana said.

"Thank you," Luna said. "How did a car get in the kitchen?"

"Through the window," Lynn and Lincoln said together.

"Is everybody okay?" Luna asked.

"Yeah," Lincoln said, "we're all fine."

"Hello!" Lori called.

"But I don't think Lori's gonna be fine," Lincoln said.

"Alright," Luna said, "we have to break this in a very gentle way."

"Where is everyone?" Lori asked.

"In the new garage!" Lynn yelled.

"We'll be right back," Lincoln said. "Stall Lori."

"Come on, Lana," Luna said, grabbing Lana's hand. "It'll be a lot harder for her to cry in front of you."

They walked to the living room, and Lori said, "Hi guys. How's it going?"

"Oh," Luna giggled, "fine. We've had a bang up day."

"There's a car in the kitchen," Lana said.

"Oh Lana," Lori said, kissing her little sister, "you are so silly."

"She's not that silly," Luna said. "There's actually something I'd like to tell you in the kitchen."

Lincoln popped his head through the door and said, "Alright, we're ready. Send her."

"Oh," Lori said, "this is going to be great. I love surprises. Let's see... it's not my birthday."

"No," Luna giggled.

"Oh," Lori said, "I love this. This must be one of those bonus "I love Lori" days. I don't know."

With that, they walked in, and Lori had a shocked expression on her face, leading to Lincoln taking a picture. "Good face, Lori," Lincoln smiled.

"Is everyone alright?" Lori asked. "Where's Lola?"

"We're all fine," Lincoln said. "Lola's at dance class."

"Look at this house!" Lori yelled. "Look at this kitchen! Look at this mess! I just waxed the floors!" Then she said, "Where's Luan?"

"Lori," Lincoln said, "let me get one more picture of you."

"This is a serious matter!" Lori yelled.

"That's okay," Lincoln said. "You don't have to smile." Then she snapped a picture of Lori.

Meanwhile, Leni was sitting in a rented apartment until she heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" she asked.

"Lola Loud," the person responded.

Leni opened the door and said, "Lola, what are you doing here?"

"The carpool dropped me off," Lola said. "I came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Leni asked. "Lola, come in here." Lola then walked in and made herself at home. "Where are you going?" Leni asked.

"I'm moving to Mexico," Lola said. "I'm going to start a new life as a Mexican hat dancer."

"You're not allowed to cross the street," Leni said. "How are you gonna cross the border?"

"I have no choice," Lola said. "I'm a woman on the run."

"Why?"

"Because I can never go home again."

"Lola," Leni said, "why can't you go home?"

"I'm having a little problem," Lola said. "Actually, it's more like a super-gigantic dinosaur problem!"

"Lola," Leni said, "come over here." Lola then started walking with Leni. "Sit down and tell me what happened."

"It's too terrible," Lola said. "I can't even say the words."

"Lola, sweetie," Leni said, "you can tell me anything."

"Okay," Lola said. "I dr— I dr— I dr"—

"You dropped something," Leni said. "Did something break?" Lola nodded her head. "What did you break?"

"You name it," Lola said, "I broke it."

"Hey Leni," Luna called, "it's me!"

"It's Luna!" Lola yelled. "You've gotta hide me!"

"But Lola," Leni said.

"Just don't tell her I'm here!" Lola said, running away.

"Leni!" Luna called.

"Coming!" Leni said, opening the door.

"I heard voices," Luna said. "Who were you talking to?"

"Nobody," Leni giggled.

"Oh," Leni said, "we'll, you look beautiful. Way too beautiful to be in this rented apartment."

"Oh, Luna!" Leni smiled. "Those are beautiful roses! Are they for me?"

"Maybe," Luna said. "Well, yeah. I wanna apologize for the way I acted about the fact that you wanted to be with Chaz for our double date. Will you forgive me?"

"This is so sweet!" Leni smiled. "Well, thanks for coming by. See you later!"

"Whose suitcase is that?" Luna asked.

"It's not what you think!" Leni shrieked.

"Someone's in the closet!" Luna pointed. "Who's in there?"

"Luna," Leni said, "you don't need to know!"

Luna opened the door, where Lola was free floating inside a big coat. "No one's in here!" Luna yelled before she saw Lola. "Lola," she said, "what are you doing?"

"Just hanging around," Lola said.

"Get down!" Luna yelled.

When Lola got down, Leni said, "Lola's got a super-gigantic dinosaur-size problem."

"Let's hear it," Luna said.

"Okay," Lola said. "I sort of drove Luan's car into the kitchen."

"You're the one who drove Luan's— Lola, you can't even drive!"

"You're telling me."

"No wonder why you're moving to Mexico," Leni said.

"Takes it from me," Luna said. "I know you're feeling scared, and you feel like you gotta run, but the best thing to do is to go home and tell the truth."

"Was Lori really mad?" Lola asked.

"You'll see," Luna said. "Let's go."

Back at home, Lincoln said, "Hey Lori, it's almost dinner. Want me to set the car?"

"Sure," Lori sighed, "but use good plated."

Soon Luan walked in, and Lana yelled, "You're in big trouble, mister!"

"Luan," Lori said, "are you okay? You had us worried sick!"

"Lori," Luan said, "I'm fine."

"Well in that case," Lori said, "you're in big trouble, mister!"

"Look," Luan said, "I know I'm late, but here's what happened. I had this little nick in my car."

"You don't say," Lori said.

"And when I went to get some touch up paint, you won't believe who I ran to."

"Speaking of running into things," Lori said, "come with me into the kitchen."

"Oh," Luan argued, "are you upset because I took the last ice cube and didn't fill the tray?"

"Something like that," Lori said.

"Wait, Lori," Lincoln said. "Let me get in there first."

"Lori," Luan said, "I'll go to the store and buy you some more ice. Everything will be fine." Then they were in the kitchen, and Luan yelled, "My car! Is this my punishment for not filling the tray?"

"Are you saying you didn't know about this?" Lori asked.

"If I did," Luan said, "I would've bought a bigger jar of touch up paint! When I left, Lola was watching my car. What happened?"

"Here's someone who will tell you what happened," Luna said.

"I was taking a make believe drive through the country when I wanted to turn on the radio," Lola said, "so I turned the key and the next think I knew, I was in the kitchen."

"I should've never left those keys in the engine," Luan said.

"It's not your fault, Luan," Lola said. "I had no business being in your new car. It was perfect."

"Well," Luna said, "almost. The radio didn't work."

"Now she tells me," Lola said. "Go ahead, Lori. Yell, scream, punish me! Or if you want, I'll just move to Mexico."

"Right now," Lori said, "I want you to wait in your room until I figure out what to do with you."

"Come on, Lola," Lincoln said.

When Lincoln and Lola left, Lana yelled, "My turn to drive the car!"

"You know the rule, Lana," Luan said. "Nobody gets to drive until they're 14 years old. Rosie!" She started crying.

"Don't cry," Lana said. "Be a big girl."

In the twins' room, Lincoln said, "Come on, Lola. You just made a mistake, but everything's gonna be alright."

Lori then walked in and said, "Lincoln, I'd like you to leave Lola alone please."

"Sure, Lori. Hang in there, Lola." He then started walking and said, "Take it easy on her, Lori. She's just a kid." Then he walked away.

"Lola," Lori said, "I'm very disappointed in you. How could you do this? You could've been hurt! You could've hurt someone else! What you did today was the stupidest thing you've ever done."

"I know," Lola said. "That's why I ran away!"

"And you know better than that too, don't you."

"Everything I do is wrong," Lola said, burying herself under her blanket. "I hate myself!"

"Lola, get out from under there."

"No! I don't deserve fresh air."

"How long do you intend to stay under that blanket?"

"Until I get married!"

"You know, it could be difficult to meet someone under there."

"Then I'll just stay in my room for the rest of my life," Lola said, getting out of her blanket.

"Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that I have to punish you."

"You should send me to carpenter school so I can build you a brand new house that you can live in without me, and you'd never have to hug and kiss me again."

"Lola, there is nothing you can ever do that will make me quit hugging and kissing you, because I love you."

"How can you still love me? I wrecked Luan's car, and I broke the house."

"Lola, those are just things. We can always buy a new car, or put up a new wall, but there is one Lola Loud, and you can never be replaced."

"Gee, I never thought of that."

"I think about it every day."

"I love you, Lori," Lola said, hugging her big sister.

THE END!


End file.
